Some Background Music

I remember a time years ago, in my early teens, when my mom sent me to the store to buy some sugar. I walked around the store trying to find some and couldn’t. Being so painfully shy, stubborn and independent, I was determined to find the sugar myself. I combed that store repeatedly. I left without finding it. I left not wanting to bother a store clerk. I left frustrated that I couldn’t find it myself. I left fearing my mom would no longer feel she can depend on me.

I landed my first job a few years later and of course have worked for numerous employers since then – all of which has helped dissipate the degree of my shyness, stubbornness and independent fire. It’s still a part of who I am though, and now being unemployed, I feel those traits flaring up again.

My search for a new job has been an exercise in allowing myself to ask for help and letting people help me. It’s been about patience and understanding that combing job postings isn’t the only way to find a job. And that admitting my shortcomings doesn’t mean I am not a reliable or weak person.

I’d be lying if I said I’m not anxious. Being unemployed also evokes other fears I have – like being lost or living as a “bag lady” in old age – but sometimes you must have faith that life will take care of itself.

My mom still has a tendency to point out where the sugar aisle is. You too are more than welcome to offer unsolicited assistance as you read my blog 🙂

I also encourage you to share anything here that you may think will help another in my position. Knowledge is power.



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